Interesting... hide and seek?

Today i received this forwarded mail from a friend, think it is kind of funny, interesting hypothesis..
Anyway, whatever to be said is up to own discretion.
One can say it is mad to be in love, or no wonder that is why love is blind, or so, now i know why people fall madly in love. Either way...
The exact title in the forwarded mail is interesting... hmm.. think i shall change that a little.


A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do.

One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: "Let's play hide and seek!" All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness
shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!" And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed.

Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One, two, three..." As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding. Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon, Treason hid in a pile of garbage. Fondness curled up between the clouds and Passion went to the centre of the earth.

Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake, whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count: "...seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.

Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..." Just when Madness got to one hundred, Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid.

And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!" As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth.

One by one, Madness found them all - except Love. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to
Madness:
"You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush."

Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rose bush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes. Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork.

"What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?" And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide."

And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

Good vs Bad

I once saw in a comic stripe – potraying healthy food = not delicious while unhealthy food = delicious. Perhaps it is true to an extent. In another words, unimportant things seem more tempting.

I guess there is something about this brain of mine. Well, I have this important appointment tomorrow and it requires me to fill up certain form and read up some articles. And I should say, the appointment is highlight as "IMPORTANT, URGENT" in my to do list. Red alert.
Somehow, there is like angel vs devil fight inside me. I’m still not too sure which side triumph… but I shall reveal the "fighting" and let you decide.

A friend asked me to join this gathering thingy and to meet this friend of mine whom I have not met as frequently as I used to… well, I guess in this context, the "angel" manage to prevent me from going out… and the red alert in my to do list is still not accomplished. Guess I would have to join them another time.

Also I was so good that I went back to work on Saturday when there were only a few "little kittens" around… hmmm… guess the "angel" in me triumph again. But I guess my biological clock then decided to help the losing "devil" side… I had this really bad headache and decide to put off my effort to search for more reading materials for my appointment. And you know what? I took a 6 hours nap only waking up at 10.30 pm! And that was the "angel" reminding me that if I don’t wake up, I shall be the bushy hair, dumb-founded gal who cannot answer a single question. Also, my stomach started growling. ;)

So I dragged myself up and had a very cold shower and ate the unnourished instant noodles. However, I still trying to put the task that I woke up to do. I rather on the TV – watching "there’s something about Mary". Cameron Diaz still has the "electrifying" smile and I cleaned my room at the eleventh hour at night. Think my landlady was a little surprise with the noise as I noted she opened her door and peeped at me who swept the floor at some odd hour. I must’ve been influenced by the "devil".

Still, I did filled up the forms and by the time I was done… (err.. also taking breaks now and then to read Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix) it was already 5 am. So now I got odd sleeping time too. Whatever… the devil consoled me that I have another day to spare.
Woke up late in the afternoon today, obviously and spend my own sweet time reading yesterday’s newspaper and small start on my regular Sunday Star soon. That would take up a few hours of my time. And here I am writing the blog and before this even clean the ceiling fan in my room… I have yet finished the ever important task, chore whatever you name it.

Think I shall also scrub the bathroom first. So, what do you think? The "angel" has yet convinced me to sit down & get over with it. However, in the mean time, I had clean my room, dust the fan and going to scrub the bathroom. Is the "angel" leading the "race"? I don’t know…

 

Note: this was written on Sunday afternoon, 25/7/04

So near yet so far...

Imagine my surprise when the lift door opened. The office is dark. I thought to myself...no electricity? It is Monday isn't it not?

Then I saw a crowd standing by the elevator door. "Do you have the key?" :P The one who is holding the key didn't come, on leave, or MC. Yea! can go home and declare holiday!!

Minutes later, some one came and open the door...sigh....

The day I come early to the office, the door isn't open. Now that it did, Hello Morning...I'm ready for you now!

10 things I hate about U

i hate the way you talk to me
the way you cut your hair
i hate the way you drive my car
i hate it when you stare
i hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind
i hate you so much it makes me sick
it even makes me rhyme
i hate the way you're always right
i hate it when you lie
i hate it when you make me laugh
even worse when you make me cry
i hate it when you're not around
and the fact you didn't call
and mostly i hate the way i don't hate you,
not even close, not even little bit,
not even at all

~ From the movie "10 things i hate about you"

Changes

Horay!
 
Finally there's some colours in blogging.
Wouldn't it a bored to see black and white the whole time? Or rather blue and white....not that it wasn't a good combination...still.

Nite has been pestering me to blog...until I hadn't noticed the changes here. Better write some craps before this thing goes mechanically, technically super duper complex that I don't even dare to write things in this...
 
Okie...changes. There has been changes happening here in teh office. People...or rather person leaving. People coming. Changes in the structure, changes in the management....and soon this will explode and evolve into something new....some new management and new environment, new bos...(scary..). But I guess....soon there will be new people to look at. Don't you feel bored if everyone around you are the same people...:p Unless the person you always look is cute! Hmmm...maybe that's why one of my boss would always sits opposite a guy!
 
So..changes...it could be scary...who knows how everything is going to be the next time? Mountains of work? Will there be 'pelampung'? Will we be required to work round the clock? Perhaps better benefits and better pay? not certain...
 
I have found a favourite word to use nowadays - PERHAPS. Perhaps it be good, Perhaps it be bad.....but either way the word perhaps protray much more sense of hope than maybe. Come to realise that certain word gives out more positive vibes than others. Like perhaps and maybe. Like yes and no.
 
And this ends my crapping for the day....till the next time....nite, would you come and continue as I retire for the day?

Spare part

A tiny soul
alone in the dark
not of any use
unable to fit in any shoes
 
It's like...
the 30th of February
the 25th hour of the day
the 61 minute of an hour
the 61st second of a minute
 
always the additional
always the unwanted
always the never needed spare part...

pictures of cambodia

Well, here are 2 pictures from Cambodia. Unfortunately the picture on Angkor Wat is not able to be posted up due to technical problem. Would try again some other time.
So in the mean time... here are 2 first :)
 

 

To be or not to be

This isn't something that I thought of out of nothing. It isn't something new at all. It has been there, been mentioned about, but no one seemed to realise the impact it has.

CHOICES.

I have come to a realisation how powerful men's mind could be. How when it had made up its mind, no matter how hard the situation or circumstances are going to be, it will go through it.

How we live. How we handle things. How we face problems. How we experience. It is through choices that we make.

I often wonder why God wouldn't just make Satan disappear. Then there will not be any evil people. There will not be sin. Hell will not exist. Then someone told me that God gives His people free will. He gave them a choice. To be or not to be. Right from the very start when we take our first breath, we are given a choice. 50-50 percent chance of everything. Think about it.

When we are born, we choose to breath or not to breath. Then we choose to learn or not to learn. We choose to relate and interact with people or not. We choose to be good or bad. We choose to make friends or to be alone. We choose to be friendly or a bully. We choose to be happy or to be sad. We choose to believe in God or not. We choose to believe in the supernatural or to be logical. We choose to be healthy or to be a bum. We choose to work or laze around. We choose to lie or to tell the truth. We choose to go or not to go. We choose to live or not to live.

Every choices that we make, that is the effect on our lives. Every choices that we choose, that is the experience that we might have. 50-50 percent chance to find out something new or to stay where we are. 50-50 percent chance of becoming better or stay where we are. 50-50 percent chance of everything.

There is only white or black. Good or evil. Truth or lie. God or Lucifer. There isn't such a thing as a grey area. It is just a process of the choices that we make. We choose to put certain things in the grey area, because we don't want to be white, yet don't want to be black. But actually, the fact that it is grey, it belongs to the black category already, isn't it?

The choices that we make today will determine who we are tomorrow. The choices that I make today paves my path in my life, to the place where I belong, to be safe and secure, to be the person I am to be.

After holiday syndrome

The below poetry was written by a good friend of mine..
i think it is true to every bit.. and she has kindly given permission to publish this ;)


the holiday has come and go,
when the alarm rang my mind went "NO"
i dragged my weary body out into the cold,
and give a little shiver of the what the day behold......

the never-ending designs that yells for me,
and the pending emails of things yet to be,
of numerous datasheets yet to be read......
the week ahead is just one big dread........

as i brush my teeth and wash my face,
a little cold shower to rid the daze,
i realize what i am doing is really mad,
i need a rich guy really really bad.....

sipping coffee staring at the screen,
my mind is still sleeping in it's dream,
floating off to land far far away,
today is going to be one long day.......

fingers numb, work is slow,
nothing is progressing, yet to get the flow,
how i wish that happy times will never end,
but for now all i wish is for the week to end.

hei, the clock is showing eleven o'clock,
meaning twelve is just around the block,
Work, work, work, my brain has yet to register,
maybe lunch is just the answer....

the bell has rang, lunch is over,
back to work, body charge with power,
of nasi lemak and a cup of water,
should be enough to last me till dinner.

after holidays are not for me,
as staying awake is just not to be,
the white coffee came right on time,
just thick enough and the taste just fine,

but food and caffeine is not what i need,
to feed the soul to perform each deed,
cause my stubborn brain is just not listening,
to anything my "to-do-list" is telling.

work is still piling, meetings just keep coming,
emails i'm not answering, dead cats i'm not eating,
the boss is staring , my colleagues keep complaining,
my intelligence is waning, my attention is slipping.

this laziness i would soon have to pay,
by working harder and longer the following day,
but the actual fact is just too hard to swallow,
in self pity i'm soon going to wallow.

help! i am going to start screaming,
and all my hairs i will soon be tearing,
please make me come back and accept this reality,
that the holidays are gone , really and truly......

since all my feelings i have ranted and shouted,
and half the tuesday has already been wasted,
i should really be working, i guess it's time
that i say "happy working" and end this rhyme

Fear

There i am...
standing at a crossroad
not knowing where it leads
unable to see...
unable to feel..
what lies beyond

rough roads
misleading signs
unpredictable weather
unforeseen circumstances
i do not know

i dare not choose
i dare not reach out

There i am...
still standing still
fear of the unseen
fear of the nothing...

Want to know what happened?

Initially I wanted this in the journal that I have in hi5. But hi5 has been a disappointment...sigh...lets not talk about it while I mourn over my previous lost journal...

Anyway... :D

I did a very naughty thing today. But it wasn't my fault. They were there talking within everyone's hearing range. :p

Yeah, I'm eavesdropping during my ride back from work today. Couldn't help it! It was filled with drama, intense, anger, on the verge of tears. 2 persons, one looked helpless. One looked annoyed. I'm just the spectator. What a display!

I only hear bits here and there, until the two of them left the train. And they left me wondering, conjuring some story to fit their conversation. What had happened? This is what I've theorised.

Let's gave them a name, though I don't know who they are...lets call them Harry and Sally. OK.

Harry met Sally on the train and got attracted. He accumulate enough courage to go up to her and say 'hello'. Soon they found out that they got off at the same station and their workplace is actually quite near. Somehow along the way, Harry manage to get Sally's number. I guess they started to contact each other or something. Now Sally is just treating Harry nice. But Harry thought Sally likes him as he likes her. So he began to follow her. Follow her to work, follow her back home. At first Sally doesn't mind, I guess...but soon, her colleagues began asking her, her neighbours or housemates began asking her. "Who is that guy that's been following you around? Your boyfriend?" Sally felt annoyed and got irritated. She doesn't like Harry. So she got up her courage and told Harry not to follow her anymore. Sally ignore him. She didn't answer his calls. But Harry continued.

So today, something BIG must have had happened. He must have waited for her at her office lobby and make a fool of himself. And when Sally came down, he must have called her name out loud and embarrassed her. This makes Sally furious and told him to back off..and on the train, she began to scold Harry. "What are you trying to do back there? I told you not to follow me around, but you still do! You are not my friend. I hardly know you!" And Harry was like pleading, "I'm trying to see you. I know that when I call you I won't be able to see you. I just want to be your good friend" To which she said, "What friend? We weren't friends in the first place! How can you say that we can become good friends?! You have even throw whatever possible chances of us being friends just now!" Harry looked helpless..."Why don't you and I go somewhere to talk? Let me explain..." "Then explain, why not here?" "Too many people. Come on." "What is there to talk that nobody can hear? That it must be you and I alone that can settle it? I have treated you so badly and still you cannot get it?!"

And they went on and on and on...until Sally left the station, Harry followed her out. As the door closed and the train started to moved, Sally turned and faced Harry. She looked really really angry....my best guess...in the end Sally slapped Harry.

When I came home and think about it all over again, I realised that speculation is actually not a good thing to do. I guess this is how rumours started. This is how word gets around from one person to the other, each put in more pepper and salt until there's only the outline of the real story. All the mumbo jumbo were the speculations. With little bits and pieces, I'm amazed at myself of how I could even write out even the beginning of the story until the end if I wanted to. How with just that few sentences that I've heard...what's more in some dialect that I know only a little about!

Now I know why stories and rumours can actually break a person. How sometimes, these little little speculations that we heard and spread can actually cause a person to be embarrassed, to have low self esteemed..or worst cause him to be depressed and soon become mentally sick and get paranoid and maybe run amok, harming others and themselves.

Gee....I better repent before I do any harm. Thank God those were just strangers!

The box in me that I am

A box invisible, intangible, unseen
Yet grips, mistreats, distorts
Though not the body, the blood, the flesh
Strangles, Suffocates, frustrates

In such a box I am, of my own mind
One that gives no less than a torrid time
While the exterior radiates, gleams;
The insides burn, steam trapped within

What built this box? What made it grow?
Who carpentered it? Who made it whole?
Problems, relations, tiredness, distress
Made the mind think, and sanity digress

30 days of wailing heard, cries of pain
No way to help, all advice in vain
Problem of the old folk, new to no one
Yet when it comes, they wish they weren’t that someone

Of union, of life, and news of death
Made the body tired, the mind stretched
Eyes turned white, as shock and horror
Turn the face to a near pale colour

Not my problems, and yet in it I share
Should it not be made mine? Should I not even care?
But the soul grieves, and the heart feels despair
For those who are afflicted, for those whom I care

Of these I am not spared. How about my own?
There’s that thorn, for so long; overgrown
The one that stings every time I sit,
Stand, crouch, lie or leap

The one that pokes the hip, pain
The one that tightly tangles the veins
Matter of the heart, conflict of interest,
Created hate in a friend, one dear at first

The one that hates, hurts
The one that is hated, even more so, hurts
The mind already torn, already tattered
Now continually flogged, repeatedly tortured

Pile upon pile, heap upon heap
Confusion overwhelms, blood pressures leap
Frustration, with a cause far unknown
Still finds a way to squeeze, to hold

Is it the inciter? The accuser?
Circumstance? Or just me?
That’s causing distraught in all I do
or see

conclusion? Who is the culprit?
The thorn? The snare?
I find no answer
In this 30 days, no answer was there

Only a clue, made sense, not much, but some
That It isn’t here, and it was never there
For that which I was in, I had already become
The answer is ME, I’m the invisible square

- anonymous

Restlessocarcinoma leading to…. my first 7 wonders

I don’t quite know what has gotten into me… leading to a hasty and spontaneous decision to travel a hot, hot, hot neighbouring country, remember somewhere that Day went in the first half of the year? Yup, its Cambodia. (click on the word Cambodia to see Day’s blog on this). End stage of boredocarcinoma? Perhaps…

Anyway, it was all crazy… made my decision to travel just 2 days before departure and confirmed the flight just a day before. I was working till 8 something the day before and nothing was packed… no USD changed… Anyhow, here I am typing away after a good, fun journey. All these was possible as I was really lucky to be able to parasit off someone’s backpacking planning :)

The journey itself to KLIA was crazy enough. My sis and I left home at 7 am, which was 4 hours before the departure time on a motorbike to another more convenient location to take a bus to LRT station. Hehe.. so just imagine, before taking the flight, we were travelling by motorbike, bus and LRT, also the really expensive but admitted fast KLIA express. To cut the story short, we only reached KLIA at 9.30 am… but without the boarding pass which would be passed to us by the friend in KLIA.

All in all, all done, and safely on board. 2 hours later, we touched down at Siem Reap-Angkor International Airport :)

Cambodia is a unique and funny country. Things were really different from Malaysia where you can see the driver’s seat on the right side but they are driving also on the right side of the road; there were no lines to divide the both side of roads, let alone a built-up divider; no helmets required for motorcyclist and a motorbike can fetch up to 4 persons in just 1 trip; everything they can think of could be attached to the motorbike including a live pig, tonnes and tonnes of wood…; moving house literally meaning shifting the whole house to a new location; ppl living on the big, famous lake – Tonle Sap with TV charged by generator & batteries and lots, lots more.

This is a new experience for me too as I went on a parasit backpacking trip :)… Yup, backpacking allows one to have ample of time to take as many shots as you like on one location without having to keep an one on the tour guide, able to eat in a modest, cheap, good food & service shop in the market place (we went there everyday…hehe), experience in travelling in a tuk tuk (mototaxi) instead of being shipped to everywhere by air-con bus, talking to monks… (somehow monks approached me for chatting leading to my friends calling the monks my friend)….

Also… Siem Reap housed a big Angkor Complex where you can find the famous, off the form 4 history book – Angkor Wat, one of the 7 wonders of the world…
Its so different to be there… standing among the ruins… which minute detailed carvings on the wall, feeling the air breezed passed you as you climbed higher up. The sunset was just magnificent… really like those you see in the postcard…. :)

Guess i'm a little greedy but i really hope that i could tag along to my friend's trip to Thailand...
Didn’t quite agree with what he told me before this… but I guess he is right… life is great! :)