Monday, January 17, 2005

Installing Love

Agreed that the Net is a good way to send various things (otherwise I wouldn’t be addicted… haha). Found this in last Sunday’s Sunday Star. It is funny in it’s own way, and yet quite true :)

Tech support: Yes ma’am… how can I help u?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
TS: Yes, I can. Are you ready to proceed?
C: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?
TS: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart ma’am?
C: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
TS: What programs are running?
C: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
TS: No problem. Love will gradually erase Past/Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of it’s own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma’am?
C: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
TS: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment are completely erased.
C: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
TS: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other hearts in order to get the upgrades.
C: Oops! I have an error message. It says, “Error – program not run on external components.” What should I do?
TS: Don’t worry, ma’am. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
C: So, what should I do?
TS: Can you pull down Self-Acceptance, then click on the following files: Forgive Self; Realise Your Worth; Acknowledge Your Limitations.
C: Okay, done.
TS: Now copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
C: Got it. Hey, My Heart is filling up with new files! Smiles is playing on my monitor, and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
TS: Sometimes. Fort others, it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
C: I promise to do just that. By the way, what’s your name?
TS: Just call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as the Great Physician, or simply “I AM”. Most people feel all they need is an annual check-up to stay heart-healthy. But the manufacturer (ME) suggests a daily maintenance schedule for maximum Love efficiency.

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