I don’t quite know what has gotten into me… leading to a hasty and spontaneous decision to travel a hot, hot, hot neighbouring country, remember somewhere that Day went in the first half of the year? Yup, its Cambodia. (click on the word Cambodia to see Day’s blog on this). End stage of boredocarcinoma? Perhaps…
Anyway, it was all crazy… made my decision to travel just 2 days before departure and confirmed the flight just a day before. I was working till 8 something the day before and nothing was packed… no USD changed… Anyhow, here I am typing away after a good, fun journey. All these was possible as I was really lucky to be able to parasit off someone’s backpacking planning :)
The journey itself to KLIA was crazy enough. My sis and I left home at 7 am, which was 4 hours before the departure time on a motorbike to another more convenient location to take a bus to LRT station. Hehe.. so just imagine, before taking the flight, we were travelling by motorbike, bus and LRT, also the really expensive but admitted fast KLIA express. To cut the story short, we only reached KLIA at 9.30 am… but without the boarding pass which would be passed to us by the friend in KLIA.
All in all, all done, and safely on board. 2 hours later, we touched down at Siem Reap-Angkor International Airport :)
Cambodia is a unique and funny country. Things were really different from Malaysia where you can see the driver’s seat on the right side but they are driving also on the right side of the road; there were no lines to divide the both side of roads, let alone a built-up divider; no helmets required for motorcyclist and a motorbike can fetch up to 4 persons in just 1 trip; everything they can think of could be attached to the motorbike including a live pig, tonnes and tonnes of wood…; moving house literally meaning shifting the whole house to a new location; ppl living on the big, famous lake – Tonle Sap with TV charged by generator & batteries and lots, lots more.
This is a new experience for me too as I went on a parasit backpacking trip :)… Yup, backpacking allows one to have ample of time to take as many shots as you like on one location without having to keep an one on the tour guide, able to eat in a modest, cheap, good food & service shop in the market place (we went there everyday…hehe), experience in travelling in a tuk tuk (mototaxi) instead of being shipped to everywhere by air-con bus, talking to monks… (somehow monks approached me for chatting leading to my friends calling the monks my friend)….
Also… Siem Reap housed a big Angkor Complex where you can find the famous, off the form 4 history book – Angkor Wat, one of the 7 wonders of the world…
Its so different to be there… standing among the ruins… which minute detailed carvings on the wall, feeling the air breezed passed you as you climbed higher up. The sunset was just magnificent… really like those you see in the postcard…. :)
Guess i'm a little greedy but i really hope that i could tag along to my friend's trip to Thailand...
Didn’t quite agree with what he told me before this… but I guess he is right… life is great! :)
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Monday, June 28, 2004
Metastasis of boredocarcinoma
Haha..
funny how things turn out.. day has got boredocarcinoma
But i'm in the worser state - being diagnosed of boredocarcinoma and it is in advance stage where it has metastasis - developing into restlessocarcinoma.
Dont really know what has gotten into me... it's like there is this wave inside me... and it is a very rough wave due to strong wind & bad weather, and i cant seem to calm myself. Found out that one of the most effective way is to just sit down and listen to someone talk.. well, cant afford to do that all the time, besides, who would have all the energy to talk to a hyperactive, restless, jumpy gal all the time.
Lucky that i have a found another way to let go of the steam.. at least temporarily - the alternative way was to get out.. wherever u want, and just walk pointlessly...
Well, at least it has cool of my steam there other way.. or would say, like chemotherapy, controlling the restlessocarcinoma.
As for the way to eradicate it.. i have yet to find.
funny how things turn out.. day has got boredocarcinoma
But i'm in the worser state - being diagnosed of boredocarcinoma and it is in advance stage where it has metastasis - developing into restlessocarcinoma.
Dont really know what has gotten into me... it's like there is this wave inside me... and it is a very rough wave due to strong wind & bad weather, and i cant seem to calm myself. Found out that one of the most effective way is to just sit down and listen to someone talk.. well, cant afford to do that all the time, besides, who would have all the energy to talk to a hyperactive, restless, jumpy gal all the time.
Lucky that i have a found another way to let go of the steam.. at least temporarily - the alternative way was to get out.. wherever u want, and just walk pointlessly...
Well, at least it has cool of my steam there other way.. or would say, like chemotherapy, controlling the restlessocarcinoma.
As for the way to eradicate it.. i have yet to find.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Boredocarcinoma
Boredom...
Been having it for a few days, probably longer. At times it seemed to have vanished only to come back seconds later. How in the world do you get rid of this boredom?
Some equate boredom with nothing to do.
I don't think so. With tonnes of things at hand and mountains coming my way in the days ahead, I feel bored. When I do get a day of rest with nothing to do and to be able to sleep as long as I pleased, I feel bored. When I'm running around doing this and catching up with that I feel bored. When I'm brought to the most happening place aka pubs or disco, I feel bored.
What is happening? Can Life be as boring as it is now? Will holidays be able to get rid of it? I doubt it. It seemed to have also gone for a holiday when I went for one. Only it came tumbling back with double the intensity when holidaying is over. Could this be termed as lazyness? Possibly, could it? Maybe this is stress? How could that be? Each time I feel bored, I want to find more things to do. Nope, not stress. Stress is just temporal and pyschological. Not a disease.
Maybe...just maybe by writing this I could write the boredom off. No joking...I'm begining to think that this boredom thing is a malicious cancer. Maybe I'll call it Boredocarcinoma with no curable medication as of currently.
Maybe it is just me, or does anyone else out there caught this cancer as well?
Been having it for a few days, probably longer. At times it seemed to have vanished only to come back seconds later. How in the world do you get rid of this boredom?
Some equate boredom with nothing to do.
I don't think so. With tonnes of things at hand and mountains coming my way in the days ahead, I feel bored. When I do get a day of rest with nothing to do and to be able to sleep as long as I pleased, I feel bored. When I'm running around doing this and catching up with that I feel bored. When I'm brought to the most happening place aka pubs or disco, I feel bored.
What is happening? Can Life be as boring as it is now? Will holidays be able to get rid of it? I doubt it. It seemed to have also gone for a holiday when I went for one. Only it came tumbling back with double the intensity when holidaying is over. Could this be termed as lazyness? Possibly, could it? Maybe this is stress? How could that be? Each time I feel bored, I want to find more things to do. Nope, not stress. Stress is just temporal and pyschological. Not a disease.
Maybe...just maybe by writing this I could write the boredom off. No joking...I'm begining to think that this boredom thing is a malicious cancer. Maybe I'll call it Boredocarcinoma with no curable medication as of currently.
Maybe it is just me, or does anyone else out there caught this cancer as well?
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Euro 2004
The Euro fever is here.. actually is already here for quite a while.
Though i really enjoy watching football, unfortunately the odd hours really got to me.
Somehow unable to really wake up and watch these days... and yes, i'm putting blame on the bella i'm taking to cure my cough.
Anyway, did try to wake up for the earlier games - like the England Switzerland match. But the sleepy bugs dragged me off to dreamland after the first half.
Did remember the better times when i really had time & energy to watch it. Seeing United winning matches actually brightens up days.. funny yah.. i got to be crazy
Anyway, yesterday England won the match against Croatia. Cheers to Rooney... for the 2 goals. It's funny that when you watch games within clubs.. you are actually supporting different players.. and when it comes to international level.. the players differs too. Guess, that is where it came in that you are actually supporting the club or country instead of the players... whatever...
Anyway, think the official website is really providing informative & up to dates details.. and i've enjoy reading the matches.. even though i have problem waking up to watch it ;)
Euro 2004 website - updates on the England - Croatia match
Though i really enjoy watching football, unfortunately the odd hours really got to me.
Somehow unable to really wake up and watch these days... and yes, i'm putting blame on the bella i'm taking to cure my cough.
Anyway, did try to wake up for the earlier games - like the England Switzerland match. But the sleepy bugs dragged me off to dreamland after the first half.
Did remember the better times when i really had time & energy to watch it. Seeing United winning matches actually brightens up days.. funny yah.. i got to be crazy
Anyway, yesterday England won the match against Croatia. Cheers to Rooney... for the 2 goals. It's funny that when you watch games within clubs.. you are actually supporting different players.. and when it comes to international level.. the players differs too. Guess, that is where it came in that you are actually supporting the club or country instead of the players... whatever...
Anyway, think the official website is really providing informative & up to dates details.. and i've enjoy reading the matches.. even though i have problem waking up to watch it ;)
Euro 2004 website - updates on the England - Croatia match
Monday, June 21, 2004
To a friend...
What do you feel when a friend or close friend is leaving you? Well, I am sure at least at one point of your life, your friend might be leaving… to further his/her studies, move, migrate… anything…
How do you feel? It’s like this certain person has enter your life, leave a footprint, but you know that you might not see him/her again, at least not in a short while. Yes, I know… there is such thing call letters, emails, telephones, instant messengers… but you would not know as things are never guaranteed to be the same again. People might choose not to write or call… perhaps too busy…. On the other hand, you yourself might have put off the phone call, the intention to keep in touch… I don’t know.
Another friend is leaving to start another chapter of his life. Guess I would not see him so often then. Funny how things turn out to be… somehow there is this feeling of emptiness when I know that he is leaving. Guess I am getting too comfortable in his company. But, he need not know.
I quote from Calvin & Hobbes, “Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.” We might not be the best of friends, but things really aren’t so scary when he is around. :)
How do you feel? It’s like this certain person has enter your life, leave a footprint, but you know that you might not see him/her again, at least not in a short while. Yes, I know… there is such thing call letters, emails, telephones, instant messengers… but you would not know as things are never guaranteed to be the same again. People might choose not to write or call… perhaps too busy…. On the other hand, you yourself might have put off the phone call, the intention to keep in touch… I don’t know.
Another friend is leaving to start another chapter of his life. Guess I would not see him so often then. Funny how things turn out to be… somehow there is this feeling of emptiness when I know that he is leaving. Guess I am getting too comfortable in his company. But, he need not know.
I quote from Calvin & Hobbes, “Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.” We might not be the best of friends, but things really aren’t so scary when he is around. :)
The Ugly Side of Me… Literally :)
Went out with a friend a few days ago. He said something that though I am not thrill to admit, I shall give him the credit that he deserved…
Though I know that it is TRUE, gosh… I hate to admit it. The fact is that it has actually been there and has stay put since ages ago. It’s not that I’ve come to terms with it but more to I’m trying to be ignorant.
Anyway, today, I shall humble myself (another friend once told me that once in a while, we need to do something to humble ourselves… and yes, I am going to listen to her).
Ok… here goes, I’m going to reveal the really ugly side of me… physically, literally… So, people, don’t blink, read on, I don’t do this everyday.
1. I’m FAT
2. I slouch… badly
3. There’s never a day my face is free from zits, pimples and acne
4. I’ve got tummy
5. Flabby arms
6. Countless scars… from chicken pox (one or two), pimples (a lot more), accidents (big patches and definitely visible)
7. Fat legs
8. Unkept and bushy hair
9. Lousy look – which includes small eyes, big nose… which completely contradicts how people describe pretty faces… trust me… :)
10…. And yah, I conveniently forgot to mention that I’m d*mn short
Well, I know most of it is changeable… if I’m er… like determine and really trying to change it…
Unfortunately, the is a lazy bug haunting me… but that is another story :)
Though I know that it is TRUE, gosh… I hate to admit it. The fact is that it has actually been there and has stay put since ages ago. It’s not that I’ve come to terms with it but more to I’m trying to be ignorant.
Anyway, today, I shall humble myself (another friend once told me that once in a while, we need to do something to humble ourselves… and yes, I am going to listen to her).
Ok… here goes, I’m going to reveal the really ugly side of me… physically, literally… So, people, don’t blink, read on, I don’t do this everyday.
1. I’m FAT
2. I slouch… badly
3. There’s never a day my face is free from zits, pimples and acne
4. I’ve got tummy
5. Flabby arms
6. Countless scars… from chicken pox (one or two), pimples (a lot more), accidents (big patches and definitely visible)
7. Fat legs
8. Unkept and bushy hair
9. Lousy look – which includes small eyes, big nose… which completely contradicts how people describe pretty faces… trust me… :)
10…. And yah, I conveniently forgot to mention that I’m d*mn short
Well, I know most of it is changeable… if I’m er… like determine and really trying to change it…
Unfortunately, the is a lazy bug haunting me… but that is another story :)
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Internet friend
Sometimes you don't know who you will be meeting in this invisible world. The person you befriended seemed like this idea of a friendship you wanted to have. But then as conversation thrown back and forth, you realised, up to an extend you kind of think.."Oh o, what have i got myself into?"
There has been alot of websites about meeting your friends and adding new friends and stuff. It is this site when I met this kid..16 years old. He added me because of some article i wrote in that site. And I approved him because i felt honoured that someone liked my article...or should I say my gibberish. :P
I don't like the world that is turning out today. I know it has more negative exposures and there's seemed to have no positive vibes to neutralised it. And this kid shared my thoughts. But somehow deep inside, i felt troubled. Here is a kid that is angry of the world. And he is only 16. How could a person be so angry at the wworld at such a young age. He talks about his admiration of Hitler. Of his sense of power towards the people. Of the leadership quality he seemed to have. Could this kid be influenced? Could this kid be nuturing a kind of hatred in his heart? I sincerely hope not.
There has been alot of websites about meeting your friends and adding new friends and stuff. It is this site when I met this kid..16 years old. He added me because of some article i wrote in that site. And I approved him because i felt honoured that someone liked my article...or should I say my gibberish. :P
I don't like the world that is turning out today. I know it has more negative exposures and there's seemed to have no positive vibes to neutralised it. And this kid shared my thoughts. But somehow deep inside, i felt troubled. Here is a kid that is angry of the world. And he is only 16. How could a person be so angry at the wworld at such a young age. He talks about his admiration of Hitler. Of his sense of power towards the people. Of the leadership quality he seemed to have. Could this kid be influenced? Could this kid be nuturing a kind of hatred in his heart? I sincerely hope not.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
My recent craze
Out of nowhere... i have this sudden craze over this chinese song
It all started on a certain Tuesday where i took leave to settle some things.
Lucky for me, i manage to finish to "TO DO" list fast & reached home by 5 something.
The routine was to click on the TV and MVP Valentine was on. I dont follow the show though it was popular when it first came out. Even till now, that episode that i happened to watch was the only episode i ever watched.
Anyhow, somehow, i was hooked to the song, it has good lyrics ;)
so.. here it is...
click here
It all started on a certain Tuesday where i took leave to settle some things.
Lucky for me, i manage to finish to "TO DO" list fast & reached home by 5 something.
The routine was to click on the TV and MVP Valentine was on. I dont follow the show though it was popular when it first came out. Even till now, that episode that i happened to watch was the only episode i ever watched.
Anyhow, somehow, i was hooked to the song, it has good lyrics ;)
so.. here it is...
click here
Monday, June 14, 2004
Death
Death. Everyone will eventually end their life. Was it good? Was it just a passing of time? Had it accomplised its mission? Had it served its purpose?
Life. A gift that no one deserved. A gift come unexpected. A gift, so short, yet full of promises, hope, and dreams.
But...some often thinks of death. Oh..why don't i just disappear from this world? Oh..why do these things happened to me....I might as well die, then everything will be OK. Oh...my heart is broken, I find no purpose to live....these thoughts passed their mind...passed their lips.
Question...why do such doom loom over their thoughts? why problems seeemed so big that they couldn't face it? Stupidity! Idiotic! Does everyone think that death could just solve the problem? Such selfishness! Such self-centeredness! Such simpleton! Such moron!
Hundreds and millions of people faced the angel of death everyday. Do they want to? Look beyond yourself! Look around you! People running to save their lives from bullets and bombs. People digging in search for food to fill their empty stomachs. People lying on the bed in the hospital, crying...doctor, doctor, save me. Don't give up on me!
And you think of slicing that knife across your wrist? And you think that a bottle of sleeping pills will solve everything? Such naivety.
Choices. Unwanted pregnancies. Abortions. Life was given to them. But was stolen from them even before they could even have a chance to fight for it. Don't they get a chance to live? don't they get a chance to see the world? One night of passion, one night of nincompoop....a murder was made. Excuses that feotus, a lump of tissues. No life. Then what are you made of?
I just read one depressing journal. 3 journals were posted. All about wanting to end her life. All about the promises that Lucifer made to her. A story? A thought? An influence?
Disturbed....Mortified...Perplexed.
Lucifer and Death is not a good combination.
Life. A gift that no one deserved. A gift come unexpected. A gift, so short, yet full of promises, hope, and dreams.
But...some often thinks of death. Oh..why don't i just disappear from this world? Oh..why do these things happened to me....I might as well die, then everything will be OK. Oh...my heart is broken, I find no purpose to live....these thoughts passed their mind...passed their lips.
Question...why do such doom loom over their thoughts? why problems seeemed so big that they couldn't face it? Stupidity! Idiotic! Does everyone think that death could just solve the problem? Such selfishness! Such self-centeredness! Such simpleton! Such moron!
Hundreds and millions of people faced the angel of death everyday. Do they want to? Look beyond yourself! Look around you! People running to save their lives from bullets and bombs. People digging in search for food to fill their empty stomachs. People lying on the bed in the hospital, crying...doctor, doctor, save me. Don't give up on me!
And you think of slicing that knife across your wrist? And you think that a bottle of sleeping pills will solve everything? Such naivety.
Choices. Unwanted pregnancies. Abortions. Life was given to them. But was stolen from them even before they could even have a chance to fight for it. Don't they get a chance to live? don't they get a chance to see the world? One night of passion, one night of nincompoop....a murder was made. Excuses that feotus, a lump of tissues. No life. Then what are you made of?
I just read one depressing journal. 3 journals were posted. All about wanting to end her life. All about the promises that Lucifer made to her. A story? A thought? An influence?
Disturbed....Mortified...Perplexed.
Lucifer and Death is not a good combination.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Bookcrossing
Have you ever come across book lying around your path?
Have you ever seen book that writes across - READ me...I'm FREE!....Remember me...?
I just come across the website - bookcrossing.com
Show about book lovers all across the globe that put their beloved books at public places. Leaving for others to read. Leaving to let others share of their passion on reading. Books that touch their hearts. Books that may touch yours.
I'm so excited...imagine you book being read by millions, your book crossing the country. Different people, different culture, different opinions, different stature, different background. SAME passion.
Imagine...1 book, millions of people...the world is its oyster.
Have you ever seen book that writes across - READ me...I'm FREE!....Remember me...?
I just come across the website - bookcrossing.com
Show about book lovers all across the globe that put their beloved books at public places. Leaving for others to read. Leaving to let others share of their passion on reading. Books that touch their hearts. Books that may touch yours.
I'm so excited...imagine you book being read by millions, your book crossing the country. Different people, different culture, different opinions, different stature, different background. SAME passion.
Imagine...1 book, millions of people...the world is its oyster.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Chat with God
God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No. Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too!.
Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success! is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessings, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, "Why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. !
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Year with a new sense of inspiration.
God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.
Me: Called you? No. Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too!.
Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success! is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessings, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, "Why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. !
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Year with a new sense of inspiration.
God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.
Friday, June 04, 2004
The small things in life
The sun is shining. Yet it is not hot, it is a good weather. It has been quite a while since I see the sun after work. Thanks to the little things in life that makes life bearable.
... a sms from a friend asking me if I have received reply from something I’ve been awaiting
... a message from a friend telling me someone interested in knowing me… hehe… funny… would love to know what the person sees in me... perhaps not seeing is the key :)
... knowing that episode 45 of my all-time favourite comic – Detective Conan is out.
... found that even episode 46 is out too :)
... a warm smile from a friend… the kind of smile straight from the heart
... knowing that my loyal 2 wheel companion no longer generating weird, squeaky sound without sending it to the workshop
I’ve learned… that it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular
... a sms from a friend asking me if I have received reply from something I’ve been awaiting
... a message from a friend telling me someone interested in knowing me… hehe… funny… would love to know what the person sees in me... perhaps not seeing is the key :)
... knowing that episode 45 of my all-time favourite comic – Detective Conan is out.
... found that even episode 46 is out too :)
... a warm smile from a friend… the kind of smile straight from the heart
... knowing that my loyal 2 wheel companion no longer generating weird, squeaky sound without sending it to the workshop
I’ve learned… that it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular
Comes the Dawn
Comes the Dawn – first read it when my friend sent it to me. If I am not wrong, before that we were (a few of my friends and me) chatting via email on the other half in lives. I suppose that was it or else… the poem does not come in mind.
Anyhow, when I read it… somehow it gave me another feeling… like you would have to know that it is time… that you should learn to fend for yourself. I wonder…
Anyway, here it is… :)
Comes The Dawn
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting –
For someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn
With every goodbye you learn.
~ Veronic Shoffstall
Anyhow, when I read it… somehow it gave me another feeling… like you would have to know that it is time… that you should learn to fend for yourself. I wonder…
Anyway, here it is… :)
Comes The Dawn
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting –
For someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn
With every goodbye you learn.
~ Veronic Shoffstall
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
The tunnel
I know life is hard, problems is part & parcel of it.
I know there will always be light at the end of the tunnel.
I know things will turn out fine in the end… though there might be consequences.
But that does not guarantee that along the road, along the tunnel there would not be holes, there would not be obstacles…
Going through, one by one, makes me so tired
How I wish, along the tunnel, someone would walk with me; need not race with me to the end of it. But keep me company on certain darkest journey of it?
Sigh…
I know there will always be light at the end of the tunnel.
I know things will turn out fine in the end… though there might be consequences.
But that does not guarantee that along the road, along the tunnel there would not be holes, there would not be obstacles…
Going through, one by one, makes me so tired
How I wish, along the tunnel, someone would walk with me; need not race with me to the end of it. But keep me company on certain darkest journey of it?
Sigh…
Sunday, May 30, 2004
First impression
First impression… what do you think? Well, I guess it is rather important. A friend told me, “Wear nicer when you go out. You never know who will see you.” Well, of course, I protest… if someone wants to know me just because I look good… perhaps not good, presentable… then I would think that the person is not really whom I want to know. Yet, I have to agree with what my friend said next. You know the person upfront, from appearance before knowing them personally, deep down. Well, I guess it’s true… so, that is where first impression comes :)
Another example, if you are to go to an interview, and if the interviewer likes you in the first place, well, I guess than you have won half of the battle? The other half, of course, lies at how you fare.
For me, once first impression is set, it is kind of hard to change. Unless of course, something happens that leave another good/bad impression. But the funny thing is usually impression changes from bad to good, instead of good to bad. Perhaps life is where you give benefit of the doubt :)
Well, recently something happened. Someone close to the heart was admitted to the hospital and I was told that an old friend of mine was seen in the hospital. Actually, I do know that this friend of mine is taking medicine in UM. It’s just me who lax and did not keep in touch. Another part that contributes to it was… I used to think that he is kind of eerie, unapproachable… ah… in other words, something is missing and we were never counted as really friends, let alone good friends.
Anyway, something got into my head and I sms-ed him. He was really nice, called me back and asked about this family member of mine who was admitted… telling me that he would pay a visit. I was thinking that was really sweet of him to do so… or probably since he already knew about it, he probably would visit out of courtesy.
However, the thing that really touched my heart and completely changed the initial impression set and stuck in my mind was… he went to visit every day after that. So, there you have it… don’t judge a book by it’s cover. :)
Maybe it’s fate, maybe that is how life wants it to be that I would only know him better after being acquaintance for so many years… but I guess things will never be too late.
Another example, if you are to go to an interview, and if the interviewer likes you in the first place, well, I guess than you have won half of the battle? The other half, of course, lies at how you fare.
For me, once first impression is set, it is kind of hard to change. Unless of course, something happens that leave another good/bad impression. But the funny thing is usually impression changes from bad to good, instead of good to bad. Perhaps life is where you give benefit of the doubt :)
Well, recently something happened. Someone close to the heart was admitted to the hospital and I was told that an old friend of mine was seen in the hospital. Actually, I do know that this friend of mine is taking medicine in UM. It’s just me who lax and did not keep in touch. Another part that contributes to it was… I used to think that he is kind of eerie, unapproachable… ah… in other words, something is missing and we were never counted as really friends, let alone good friends.
Anyway, something got into my head and I sms-ed him. He was really nice, called me back and asked about this family member of mine who was admitted… telling me that he would pay a visit. I was thinking that was really sweet of him to do so… or probably since he already knew about it, he probably would visit out of courtesy.
However, the thing that really touched my heart and completely changed the initial impression set and stuck in my mind was… he went to visit every day after that. So, there you have it… don’t judge a book by it’s cover. :)
Maybe it’s fate, maybe that is how life wants it to be that I would only know him better after being acquaintance for so many years… but I guess things will never be too late.
Friday, May 28, 2004
God hears our prayers!
Few days ago I found that a close friend's father was admitted to hospital due to diabetes complications. His condition was serious, he is old, Drs just shoke their heads and told us to prepare for the worst.
SMSes, e-mails flew around to the whole church to pray for him. He doesn't know God.
I was following very closely to this news. Any change, any glimpse of hope, I hope to know. I don't personally know this uncle, but somehow his condition seemed to have captured my attention.
His last strand of hope. His thin, fine line to recovery. His daughter praying. His family's tears. His cry for Jesus' help. The church's prayers. The sweat beads on the foreheads, their downcast eyes as the doctors told them remain to bid their last goodbye. His last night..their last prayer.
Then a mail came to my in-box. He received Jesus as his saviour!
Then another mail came. He is getting stronger, eating and talking. Doctors called it a miracle. Fighting septicemia at such an old age. The rest of us cheered! Our prayers answered. God intervened!
This is the news that should be in the headlines! This is the news where everyone should read!
SMSes, e-mails flew around to the whole church to pray for him. He doesn't know God.
I was following very closely to this news. Any change, any glimpse of hope, I hope to know. I don't personally know this uncle, but somehow his condition seemed to have captured my attention.
His last strand of hope. His thin, fine line to recovery. His daughter praying. His family's tears. His cry for Jesus' help. The church's prayers. The sweat beads on the foreheads, their downcast eyes as the doctors told them remain to bid their last goodbye. His last night..their last prayer.
Then a mail came to my in-box. He received Jesus as his saviour!
Then another mail came. He is getting stronger, eating and talking. Doctors called it a miracle. Fighting septicemia at such an old age. The rest of us cheered! Our prayers answered. God intervened!
This is the news that should be in the headlines! This is the news where everyone should read!
Thursday, May 27, 2004
The eye of the motorcyclist
Why ride motorcycles?
1. It is fast, can beat the traffic jam. Probably cut short the journey by half
Ever seen people whoosh in and out of cars? The first reason is that it does look kind of stupid if motorcycle stopped behind a car when it can actually pass through. 2nd reason is that cars actually do honk at motorcycles if they believe that the certain motorcycle can pass through.
2. Saves petrol, full tank is only about RM 4
Yup, of course RM 4 cannot last you from JB to KL or KL to Perlis. Anyhow, I think RM 4 can last a trip from KL to Bangi… probably further. But you don’t travel so far everyday, do you??
3. Saves $$, don’t have to pay toll :)
Remember I mentioned that travelling from my place to my eldest sister’s actually need to pass 2 tolls? If I take my bike… I don’t have to pay both of them. I think I once read this comic that says, if you have $$ to buy a car, then you will have $$ to pay for toll :)
4. It is airy, at night when there are fewer cars…
Of course, no one ask you to take your motorbike to Puduraya where it is always fumey and smokey. Or park your bike near some garbage truck. But generally, riding at night is more airy and when it is really late at night… windy and cool :)
However, do caution, Malaysia is not very safe at night. Careful….
Why not ride motorcycles?
1. Raining!!
You will get soak wet… water literally dripping from your clothes
Imagine you are walking between two fountains that actually splashes water to side instead of up/down. Also the roads are kind of low – creating puddles. So you get free wash – side (from cars from both side), up (the rain) & down (puddles) :)
2. Potholes!!!
There are so many of them that I certainly think there is no 1 single road in Malaysia that is free from potholes! And somehow I have a very high tendency to cross one.
Let’s see… how many things have dropped from my bike because of potholes – plate number, back lights, screws from nowhere… I can never get it, for instance – Jalan Ampang where you can find embassy yet the road is really that bad… holes in front, side, if not hole, then its not smooth… accident danger point
3. Snatch thieves
Thieves snatching things from your motorbike basket is not an uncommon thing. I even had my jacket grabbed the same way… and imagine that I was riding at 80 km/hr… I admit, Malaysian motorcyclists have high skills.
Actually what got me into writing this was due to the high frequency of me meeting potholes. Gosh, every single time my bike cross over a pothole I would thought, “Luckily I didn’t fall” or “I think it’s about time I check my bike again.” My loyal companion has nevertheless crosses so many potholes that it really has aged… thus, now making sounds every now and then. And of course, my heart do ache, though I know it seem funny… after all it is a motorbike… but it has been with me for so long, that yah, to me it is a very loyal companion.
Also, wanted to write from the view of car drivers too, however, I don’t think I actually qualified to write it as I seldom drive unless really need to. Thus, driving is not my cup of tea currently, but you never know in the near future :)
1. It is fast, can beat the traffic jam. Probably cut short the journey by half
Ever seen people whoosh in and out of cars? The first reason is that it does look kind of stupid if motorcycle stopped behind a car when it can actually pass through. 2nd reason is that cars actually do honk at motorcycles if they believe that the certain motorcycle can pass through.
2. Saves petrol, full tank is only about RM 4
Yup, of course RM 4 cannot last you from JB to KL or KL to Perlis. Anyhow, I think RM 4 can last a trip from KL to Bangi… probably further. But you don’t travel so far everyday, do you??
3. Saves $$, don’t have to pay toll :)
Remember I mentioned that travelling from my place to my eldest sister’s actually need to pass 2 tolls? If I take my bike… I don’t have to pay both of them. I think I once read this comic that says, if you have $$ to buy a car, then you will have $$ to pay for toll :)
4. It is airy, at night when there are fewer cars…
Of course, no one ask you to take your motorbike to Puduraya where it is always fumey and smokey. Or park your bike near some garbage truck. But generally, riding at night is more airy and when it is really late at night… windy and cool :)
However, do caution, Malaysia is not very safe at night. Careful….
Why not ride motorcycles?
1. Raining!!
You will get soak wet… water literally dripping from your clothes
Imagine you are walking between two fountains that actually splashes water to side instead of up/down. Also the roads are kind of low – creating puddles. So you get free wash – side (from cars from both side), up (the rain) & down (puddles) :)
2. Potholes!!!
There are so many of them that I certainly think there is no 1 single road in Malaysia that is free from potholes! And somehow I have a very high tendency to cross one.
Let’s see… how many things have dropped from my bike because of potholes – plate number, back lights, screws from nowhere… I can never get it, for instance – Jalan Ampang where you can find embassy yet the road is really that bad… holes in front, side, if not hole, then its not smooth… accident danger point
3. Snatch thieves
Thieves snatching things from your motorbike basket is not an uncommon thing. I even had my jacket grabbed the same way… and imagine that I was riding at 80 km/hr… I admit, Malaysian motorcyclists have high skills.
Actually what got me into writing this was due to the high frequency of me meeting potholes. Gosh, every single time my bike cross over a pothole I would thought, “Luckily I didn’t fall” or “I think it’s about time I check my bike again.” My loyal companion has nevertheless crosses so many potholes that it really has aged… thus, now making sounds every now and then. And of course, my heart do ache, though I know it seem funny… after all it is a motorbike… but it has been with me for so long, that yah, to me it is a very loyal companion.
Also, wanted to write from the view of car drivers too, however, I don’t think I actually qualified to write it as I seldom drive unless really need to. Thus, driving is not my cup of tea currently, but you never know in the near future :)
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Day's Quotes
I thought of some quotes today. Maybe it could be Quotable Quotes someday.
The more civilized men strive to be, the more savage they become.
The higher men becomes intellectually, the shallower their are personality.
The more advance our technology become, the more backwards is our humanity.
The more complex our vocabularies made, the more simple are our mannerism.
The bigger the things we possess, the smaller our hearts are.
The faster we do our work, the slower things seemed to be accomplished.
How about that?
The more civilized men strive to be, the more savage they become.
The higher men becomes intellectually, the shallower their are personality.
The more advance our technology become, the more backwards is our humanity.
The more complex our vocabularies made, the more simple are our mannerism.
The bigger the things we possess, the smaller our hearts are.
The faster we do our work, the slower things seemed to be accomplished.
How about that?
Thursday, May 20, 2004
What captures your attention?
Today I just found that people are attracted to negative exposures.
Just pick up any papers and you will find headlines stating
'Bridge collapsed and killed millions'
'Murdered in her own apartment after sex'
'So and so voiced out that she is the mistress'
Headlines that caught millions reading, engross with its events. What happen? Where? When?
But I often wonder, what will people react if tomorrow's headlines comes out like this?
'Blind girl manage to secure a job in IBM'
'12 year old boy saves sister from drowning'
'Millions rushing to donate blood for dying child'
Where are all the encouraging news that shouts about humanity, kindness, sincerity, honesty and all that shows that there is still hope for the human race? Why would these news be in the a small corner, where everyone will just missed it?
Shouldn't articles such as these be more important than those that declares "We are all wretched beings, doomed to die and go to hell!"
Just pick up any papers and you will find headlines stating
'Bridge collapsed and killed millions'
'Murdered in her own apartment after sex'
'So and so voiced out that she is the mistress'
Headlines that caught millions reading, engross with its events. What happen? Where? When?
But I often wonder, what will people react if tomorrow's headlines comes out like this?
'Blind girl manage to secure a job in IBM'
'12 year old boy saves sister from drowning'
'Millions rushing to donate blood for dying child'
Where are all the encouraging news that shouts about humanity, kindness, sincerity, honesty and all that shows that there is still hope for the human race? Why would these news be in the a small corner, where everyone will just missed it?
Shouldn't articles such as these be more important than those that declares "We are all wretched beings, doomed to die and go to hell!"
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Interesting concept
It is funny how you will meet interesting people everyday in unexpected places.
Yesterday I met one on the LRT while on the way home. This old man who just came in at Masjid Jamek. So i got up and offer my seat to him. He was surprised and told me that I'm a good Malaysian and said that he will pass the offer. Anyhow, this comment captured another young man's attention and conversation strikes between the two of them. The old man speaks pretty good English and I thought that he is from outside Malaysia. But later found out that he is a Malaysian.
Anyway, what I found interesting is the concept that he has with the world. He was telling the young man, Ames, about this philosophy that he has. The old man's name is Jarius, or that's what I heard. So Jarius was commenting that simple courtesy was lost among the young generation nowadays. Then he further commented that war would not have happen if everyone sees everyone as Earthians not by their colour or creed. And that if we see us as brothers and sisters, as a family, there will not be war happening cause no one would want to kill his own brothers or sisters.
And he told us about something about some only see green and some see only red. Ames was nodding away while I was lost. :) only later I found that he too also don't understand what Jarius was telling.
Anyway, bless the two of them for understanding why the world is happening the way it is.
Yesterday I met one on the LRT while on the way home. This old man who just came in at Masjid Jamek. So i got up and offer my seat to him. He was surprised and told me that I'm a good Malaysian and said that he will pass the offer. Anyhow, this comment captured another young man's attention and conversation strikes between the two of them. The old man speaks pretty good English and I thought that he is from outside Malaysia. But later found out that he is a Malaysian.
Anyway, what I found interesting is the concept that he has with the world. He was telling the young man, Ames, about this philosophy that he has. The old man's name is Jarius, or that's what I heard. So Jarius was commenting that simple courtesy was lost among the young generation nowadays. Then he further commented that war would not have happen if everyone sees everyone as Earthians not by their colour or creed. And that if we see us as brothers and sisters, as a family, there will not be war happening cause no one would want to kill his own brothers or sisters.
And he told us about something about some only see green and some see only red. Ames was nodding away while I was lost. :) only later I found that he too also don't understand what Jarius was telling.
Anyway, bless the two of them for understanding why the world is happening the way it is.
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